My big fat story

I grew bigger and bigger.
And my self esteem and joy in life grew smaler and smaler.
All the stories I encountered.
All the fear I felt.
Fear weight down on me like a heavy unwearable cloack.
I did not know what to do.
Untill I allowed myself to die a little bit.
Let 30 kg of the weight and fear die.
A gastric sleeve seemed my savior.
And so I did.
I allowed myself to die.
The surgery went wrong.
Reason unknown.
Result a second life saving surgery.
I felt myself dying and I was at peace with it.
I was ok.
Everything was as it should be.
I had to recover in the hospital for a month.
I could not eat, walk or go to the toilet by myself.
I was hooked up to alarms, drips and drains.
I felt like a caged up target people could should at.
A piece of me had died.
30 kg slowly left my body in her own pace.
I had to rediscover myself.
New parts I encounterd.
A cloack of gratitude for life came over me.
Enjoying all the magic in life.
My hair transformed into lots of beautiful strong curls.
The scarfs dissapear and the memories remains.
Memories I wear with grace and honor.
My big fat story is still here and inspires me every day to live my life.
My fear story is transformed into a story of love, inspiration and compassion.
I hope it will inspire you to live your life.

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